


the reality of everything

by yasi



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Character Study, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22513774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yasi/pseuds/yasi
Summary: I see you everywhere, in the stars, in the river, to me you’re everything that exists; the reality of everything. ~Virginia Woolf
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Kudos: 39





	the reality of everything

Ben’s forgot what it feels like to love this much, what it does to his heart. How it burns him from the inside, starting gently, pleasantly. But how it changes to an all-consuming firestorm, slowly but surely.

Sure, he loves his little family, with Lexi being the centre of his universe.

And he did love Paul, but Paul’s been dead for a while now. And even though he’s not forgot Paul, he’s forgot how it felt to be in love and to be loved back. In the end he remembered only the bad things, the way Paul died, the way Phil treated them. He’s forgot how love changes him. How it takes every little piece of him and makes it to something new.

That’s what Callum does to him and has done since the very beginning. Ben didn’t even realise it. Wherever he went, Callum was there. If not in person, then it was something that reminded him of Callum. He didn’t even realise it was happening, shrugged it off as being a little bit of fun. And yet, Callum was a constant presence in his mind.

He’d think of ways to annoy Callum, prepare little jibes full of innuendo. At the same time, he’d be so jealous of Whitney and the time she got to spend with him without being able to justify those feelings to himself. He’s surprised people didn’t catch on before Callum made a spectacle of them so publicly at the shooting in the pub.

And even though it wasn’t easy, and it hurt so damn much, he’s glad that whatever it was between them could grow quietly, away from prying eyes. That it was a secret just between the two of them.

Sometimes, when he’s feeling his weakest, he fears what other people think of them, of him. He hates how their brothers nearly came between them. How he let them both get into his head and made him hurt Callum.

Because Callum is too good for him. He doesn’t need other people to tell him. He knows it, has known it all along. All they see when they look at Callum is this goofy giant with a pure heart and a huge grin on his face. A little clumsy and yet so very endearing. And Ben gets it.

But what they don’t see is how strong Callum is. How he stands his ground, doesn’t let himself be pushed around when he doesn’t want to. If you can make him do something, it’s not because you’ve got one over him. No, it’s because he wants to do it, wants to help.

And Callum doesn’t let Ben walk all over him, he pushes back, challenges Ben. Makes him rethink what he’s doing. But he doesn’t expect Ben to change into someone he isn’t. He accepts Ben with all his flaws, loves him on purpose. No matter what other people say.

People don’t understand what they have with each other, giving them side-eyes. Whispering behind their backs, that one day soon Callum will wake up and realise what a terrible person Ben is. That Ben will break his heart. Or even worse, that Ben will get Callum killed.

That’s the one thing that bothers Ben. And he’d like nothing more than shout at them to shut their mouths, to leave them be. But then he feels a soft touch on his hand, turns his head and Callum is there, filling his line of sight, drowning out the sounds of the world. And Ben doesn’t care. Because everything begins and ends with Callum and Ben wouldn’t want it any other way.

Ben’s forgot what it felt like to love, but now he’s got Callum and Callum never tires of showing him. And Ben believes again.


End file.
